Whatever takes

Falling too fast to prepare for this
Tripping in the world could be dangerous
Everybody circling, it's vulturous
Negative, nepotist

Everybody waiting for the fall of man
Everybody praying for the end of times
Everybody hoping they could be the one
I was born to run, I was born for this

Whip, whip
Run me like a racehorse
Pull me like a ripcord
Break me down and build me up
I wanna be the slip, slip
Word upon your lip, lip
Letter that you rip, rip
Break me down and build me up

Whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do whatever it takes
'Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains
Whatever it takes
You take me to the top I'm ready for
Whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do what it takes

Always had a fear of being typical
Looking at my body feeling miserable
Always hanging on to the visual
I wanna be invisible

Looking at my years like a martyrdom
Everybody needs to be a part of 'em
Never be enough, I'm the prodigal son
I was born to run, I was born for this

Whip, whip
Run me like a racehorse
Pull me like a ripcord
Break me down and build me up
I wanna be the slip, slip
Word upon your lip, lip
Letter that you rip, rip
Break me down and build me up

Whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do whatever it takes
'Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains
Whatever it takes
You take me to the top, I'm ready for
Whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do what it takes

Hypocritical, egotistical
Don't wanna be the parenthetical, hypothetical
Working onto something that I'm proud of, out of the box
An epoxy to the world and the vision we've lost
I'm an apostrophe
I'm just a symbol to remind you that there's more to see
I'm just a product of the system, a catastrophe
And yet a masterpiece, and yet I'm half-diseased
And when I am deceased
At least I go down to the grave and die happily
Leave the body of my soul to be a part of me
I do what it takes

Whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do whatever it takes
'Cause I love how it feels when I break the chains
Whatever it takes
You take me to the top, I'm ready for
Whatever it takes
'Cause I love the adrenaline in my veins
I do what it takes

Play "Whatever It Takes" on Apple Music

     PLAYLIST

Oh my soul

S - casting crows - Oh my Soul

Oh, my soul

Oh, how you worry
Oh, how you’re weary, from fearing you lost control

This was the one thing, you didn’t see coming
And no one would blame you, though

If you cried in private
If you tried to hide it away, so no one knows
No one will see, if you stop believing

Oh, my soul

You are not alone

There’s a place where fear has to face the God you know

One more day, He will make a way

Let Him show you how, you can lay this down

‘Cause you’re not alone

Here and now

You can be honest
I won’t try to promise that someday it all works out
‘Cause this is the valley

And even now, He is breathing on your dry bones

And there will be dancing
There will be beauty where beauty was ash and stone
This much I know

I’m not strong enough, I can’t take anymore

(You can lay it down, you can lay it down)

And my shipwrecked faith will never get me to shore

(You can lay it down, you can lay it down)

Can He find me here
Can He keep me from going under

Oh, my soul

You’re not alone

Repenting of my sins, learning to love and lead the way God needs us to

Repenting of my sins, learning to love and lead the way God needs us to
S- Exodus 4 NASB

24Now it came about at the lodging place on the way that the LORD met him and sought to put him to death. 25Then Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son’s foreskin and threw it at Moses’ feet, and she said, “You are indeed a bridegroom of blood to me.” 26So He let him alone. At that time she said, “You are a bridegroom of blood”—because of the circumcision.


O - Commentary by Matthew Henry


I. How God met him in anger, v. 24-26. This is a very difficult passage of story; much has been written, and excellently written, to make it intelligible; we will try to make it improving. Here is, 1. The sin of Moses, which was neglecting to circumcise his son. This was probably the effect of his being unequally yoked with a Midianite, who was too indulgent of her child, while Moses was too indulgent of her. Note, (1.) We have need to watch carefully over our own hearts, lest fondness for any relation prevail above our love to God, and take us off from our duty to him. It is charged upon Eli that he honoured his sons more than God (1 Sa. 2:29); and see Mt. 10:37. (2.) Even good men are apt to cool in their zeal for God and duty when they have long been deprived of the society of the faithful: solitude has its advantages, but they seldom counterbalance the loss of Christian communion. 2. God's displeasure against him. He met him, and, probably by a sword in an angel's hand, sought to kill him. This was a great change; very lately God was conversing with him, and lodging a trust in him, as a friend; and now he is coming forth against him as an enemy. Note, (1.) Omissions are sins, and must come into judgment, and particularly the contempt and neglect of the seals of the covenant; for it is a sign that we undervalue the promises of the covenant, and are displeased with the conditions of it. He that has made a bargain, and is not willing to seal and ratify it, one may justly suspect, neither likes it nor designs to stand to it. (2.) God takes notice of, and is much displeased with, the sins of his own people. If they neglect their duty, let them expect to hear of it by their consciences, and perhaps to feel from it by cross providences: for this cause many are sick and weak, as some think Moses was here. 3. The speedy performance of the duty for the neglect of which God had now a controversy with him. His son must be circumcised; Moses is unable to circumcise him; therefore, in this case of necessity, Zipporah does it, whether with passionate words (expressing her dislike of the ordinance itself, or at least the administration of it to so young a child, and in a journey), as to me it seems, or with proper words-solemnly expressing the espousal of the child to God by the covenant of circumcision (as some read it) or her thankfulness to God for sparing her husband, giving him a new life, and thereby giving her, as it were, a new marriage to him, upon her circumcising her son (as others read it)-I cannot determine: but we learn, (1.) That when God discovers to us what is amiss in our lives we must give all diligence to amend it speedily, and particularly return to the duties we have neglected. (2.) The putting away of our sins is indispensably necessary to the removal of God's judgements. This is the voice of every rod, it calls to us to return to him that smites us. 4. The release of Moses thereupon: So he let him go; the distemper went off, the destroying angel withdrew, and all was well: only Zipporah cannot forget the fright she was in, but will unreasonably call Moses a bloody husband, because he obliged her to circumcise the child; and, upon this occasion (it is probable), he sent them back to his father-in-law, that they might not create him any further uneasiness. Note, (1.) When we return to God in a way of duty he will return to us in a way of mercy; take away the cause, and the effect will cease. (2.) We must resolve to bear it patiently, if our zeal for God and his institutions be misinterpreted and discouraged by some that should understand themselves, and us, and their duty, better, as David's zeal was misinterpreted by Michal; but if this be to be vile, if this be to be bloody, we must be yet more so. (3.) When we have any special service to do for God we should remove as far from us as we can that which is likely to be our hindrance. Let the dead bury their dead, but follow thou me.


A- The application for me is deep and cutting. At times as a leader I have empathized with Moses for the leadership burden he bore. Now I am convicted by his own disobedience and weakness. I must address what this means to me as a leader or I will find myself in a similar position of Moses, facing an Angel of God's sword or the disfavor of the One who I have committed my life to serving. God's grace is sufficient to forgive me the area's of my disobedience that I am willing to confess and repent for. For me I confess today the following and sincerely pray that God will forgive, heal and restore me in these areas:


1.  Husband:  I confess I have not loved my wife like Christ loves the Church.   I know He has shown me this truth and called me to love my wife as well as Jesus does.   I may know the why's behind where I get my attitude problems when speaking with my wife, whether it be anger or biting sarcasm,  I must begin seeing her how God does, and speaking words (including body language) that makes here feel safe and loved, unconditionally.  She truly is God's gift to me long before I even had a relationship with Him.

2.  Leader:  I confess I am not ready to lead God's people anywhere, because I have not stewarded what little he has given me well.   Like with Abby, my biting sarcasm, or direct harsh words have sent a signal to those I lead that I care more about what they can produce, than I care about them.  I must stop using the excuse that my heart is good, when my words and attitude don't match my heart, that it is simply a skill thing that I need to work on.  There are things in my life that have led me to be the way I am, and many of them are not of God.  I need to literally die to these old self reasons that I allow myself to excuse my bad behavior.  Through repentance and healing, I hope one day to be worthy of leading God's people in ernest.

P -  Lord I come desperately seeking your forgiveness for my sin of pride that has allowed me to excuse my bad behavior, and ask that you once and for all,  heal me of the past hurts I continue to carry with me.  I pray Lord that you help the old me disappear, and the new creation to be fully revealed to my wife and those you have placed in my life to lead and love.  I pray all this in Jesus name, Amen.

What man means for evil, God can redeem for His glory

What man sometimes man means for evil,  God means for His people’s good

S - Gen 45 NASB

4Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come closer to me.” And they came closer. And he said, “I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. 5“Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. 6“For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. 7“God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. 8“Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of all his household and ruler over all the land of Egypt.

O -  The interesting observation in this scripture to me is how Joseph handled this situation of his brothers coming to Egypt to buy food during this great famine.   His brothers did not know who he was when they came to Egypt to buy grain;  Joseph was careful not to reveal himself to his brothers until he understood the well being of his father Jacob and his younger brother Benjamin.   Once he understood those two things he revealed himself, likely knowing it would be a great shock to his brothers.      And here is the awesomeness of Joseph,  that he had an opportunity to rub it in there faces that his dream had come true, his brothers would bow down to him  and retaliate against them for throwing him in a pit and selling into slavery.  Joseph recognizes  God’s hand on the whole thing, and rather than be discouraging and revengeful he makes the statement to his brothers “I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. 5 Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life”.   What humbleness Joseph displayed in show despite his powerful position and what I think of as justifiable animosity toward his brothers.

A - The application for me is both exciting for the future, and shameful as I look in the mirror at myself.    I wish I could say during the same opportunities I have had to respond to similar circumstances in my own life that I had responded as honorably, and humble as Joseph.  In most cases I let my flesh and hurts of the past lead my response, vice the knowledge, understanding and belief that I am a new creation in Christ, the old has passed away.   Well it has, however I keep allowing my flesh to dig up the past and invite it back into my life.   Jesus speaks of this risk with new believers in the parable of the sower, and again when he casts out demons from people.  In both of those examples Jesus tells us it is not a matter of can Jesus cast out our demons, heal our wounds, and forgive us our sins,  these are all facts,  what Jesus doesn’t control is if once he cleans house in us, we invite the demons to return, or even worse we have our guards down and when the demon returns they bring 7 of their new friends to move into this freshly cleaned vessels.    For me I recognize though I am a new creation in Christ , I have at times let the “old man” return and respond for me.    There are countless times in my life since being born again where I have responded with other than Christ like love,  or Joseph like humbleness.   I do not feel defeated in this knowledge, on the contrary I feel hopeful that Christ alone can help me be sanctified and justified to be His humble servant in the tradition of Joseph,  Peter, and Paul.     

P - Dear Heavenly Father thank you for today’s devotional revelation, may this lesson be sealed to my heart.  I pray Lord that if it is your will that you would remove the thorn in my DNA or personality that wants to carry all my past scars to be used as later weapons against my perceived enemies.  Help me to see the circumstance through your eyes, and respond with your love of people, and hatred of sin.     I pray all this in Jesus name, Amen.  

Giving God the glory in my leadership opportunities

Giving God the glory in your leadership opportunities

S-Genesis 41 NASB

15Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I have had a dream, but no one can interpret it; and I have heard it said about you, that when you hear a dream you can interpret it.” 16Joseph then answered Pharaoh, saying, “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer.” 17So Pharaoh spoke to Joseph, “In my dream, behold, I was standing on the bank of the Nile; 18and behold, seven cows, fat and sleek came up out of the Nile, and they grazed in the marsh grass...

O -  Obviously Joseph was one of the great Old Testament leaders, and here we see him at the moment his great quality and character becomes recognized by the Pharaoh.   As Joseph is called in to interpret a dream for the Pharaoh, it is not necessarily a friendly environment, the Pharoah is upset that none of his people can interpret it.  Joseph is brought in because the cupbearer that he interpreted a dream for while in prison, remembered him and therefore he was recommended to the Pharaoh.  Joseph’s quality and character are revealed in his leading statement “It is not me; God will give the Pharaoh and favorable answer”.    Wow,  Joseph knows exactly who the source of his talent comes from and takes no opportunity to take credit, but rather gives glory to God.

A - The application is for me to apply Joseph’s attitude and character to my own leadership at work and at home.   At work I am to recognize where my source of good ideas and talent come from.  It is years of experience and the DNA I was born with but all these come from God.    I am to recognize God has me right where He wants me, and when the time comes to speak up in front of the “King”. I must be ready to give God the glory,  humbly present what God is revealing to me, giving it to the King to act on.   I must guard against arrogance and Ego when things are going well in my favor, and against dispare and depression when times are not going well,  because in both cases God is on the throne and guiding my every step.

P - Dear Heavenly Father thank you for today’s revelation may it be sealed to my heart.  I pray Lord that you would continue to speak loudly into my life.  Lord I repent for the times my own pride has gotten in the way of me giving you all the glory, and where my depression has gotten in the way of me hearing your voice, and I allowed my attitude to reflect a genuine lack of faith in who you are.  I pray Lord that you would help me in the current situation of the trip to Japan and the NS08 visit, that you might give me the words to speak to the SYCDR about the why’s for me to go to Japan.  Lord I also pray that if it is not your will that I go, that you gently correct me and prevent me from focusing on the wrong thing.  I pray all this in Jesus name, Amen.

Beware of the flesh - leaven of the Pharisee’s

 Beware of the flesh -  leaven of the Pharisee’s

S-Luke 3 NASB

7So he began saying to the crowds who were going out to be baptized by him, “You brood of vipers, who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? 8“Therefore bear fruits in keeping with repentance, and do not begin to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham for our father,’ for I say to you that from these stones God is able to raise up children to Abraham. 9“Indeed the axe is already laid at the root of the trees; so every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.”

O -This passage from Luke is describing John the Baptist ministry, and which he was baptizing people in preparation for the coming of the Christ. As the crowds began coming to see John in the Jordan River John noticed some of them where Pharisees and tax collectors and teachers of the law, and his statement calling them these brood of vipers was likely led by the Holy Spirit in him. His question to them is who told them to come, because it was interesting since these are the leader in that have been leading the people astray from God, who is it now that has influence them to come and follow one of God’s prophets.  I suggest John was assessing if it was God and brought them, great, however; real reason they came was possibly for self-preservation and not inspiration. You see the Pharisees and teachers of the day were engulfed in the culture of the day rather than the principles in Scripture. They were willing to follow the crowd to see for themselves, and while their faith may not have led them to repentance, they possibly saw the benefits of keeping all their bases covered. This is what John was really against, those outwardly appear righteous, yet inwardly we are corrupt and leading gods people away from God rather than towards him.

A - The application for me is to recognize the Pharisee in me. I am at times allowing myself to be led by my flesh, rather than by the Holy Spirit.  Rather than do things for the right reason I do things for self preservation. Examples are when  I do daily devotions so that I can earn God’s favor and trust rather than seeking a relationship with God through his word and be guided and prompted by the Holy Spirit on what my perspective needs to be. When it comes to leading people I might choose to lead and communicate with people in a manner that doesn’t honor God, but does make me feel better about myself. Examples include butting heads with key leaders who work for me, who work around me, or for whom I work.  I believe God wants me to understand his principles of how much he loves everyone, to spend less time judging and or issue in my own form of justice, and wartime loving others like Christ loves them, and allowing God to be the judge.

P - Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for today’s lesson, may it be sealed to my heart.  I pray Lord that you would be a part of my daily guide and tutoring me how much you love people,  and how you want me to treat them.  I confess I have fallen well short on many occasions on responding to people, and ask that you help me to be a better representative of Christ to all the people you are placing in and around my life.

Seperated from God due to our sin

Seperated from God

 S Gen 3 (NASB)

22Then the LORD God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”— 23therefore the LORD God sent him out from the garden of Eden, to cultivate the ground from which he was taken. 24So He drove the man out; and at the east of the garden of Eden He stationed the cherubim and the flaming sword which turned every direction to guard the way to the tree of life.

O -Mathew Henry

Sentence being passed upon the offenders, we have here execution, in part, done upon them immediately. Observe here,

• I. How they were justly disgraced and shamed before God and the holy angels, by the ironical upbraiding of them with the issue of their enterprise: "Behold, the man has become as one of us, to know good and evil! A goodly god he makes! Does he not? See what he has got, what preferments, what advantages, by eating forbidden fruit!' This was said to awaken and humble them, and to bring them to a sense of their sin and folly, and to repentance for it, that, seeing themselves thus wretchedly deceived by following the devil's counsel, they might henceforth pursue the happiness God should offer in the way he should prescribe. God thus fills their faces with shame, that they may seek his name, Ps. 83:16. He puts them to this confusion, in order to their conversion. True penitents will thus upbraid themselves: "What fruit have I now by sin? Rom. 6:21. Have I gained what I foolishly promised myself in a sinful way? No, no, it never proved what it pretended to, but the contrary.'
• II. How they were justly discarded, and shut out of paradise, which was a part of the sentence implied in that, Thou shalt eat the herb of the field. Here we have,
• 1. The reason God gave why he shut man out of paradise; not only because he had put forth his hand, and taken of the tree of knowledge, which was his sin, but lest he should again put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life (now forbidden him by the divine sentence, as before the tree of knowledge was forbidden by the law), and should dare to eat of that tree, and so profane a divine sacrament and defy a divine sentence, and yet flatter himself with a conceit that thereby he should live forever. Observe,
• (1.) There is a foolish proneness in those that have rendered themselves unworthy of the substance of Christian privileges to catch at the signs and shadows of them. Many that like not the terms of the covenant, yet, for their reputation's sake, are fond of the seals of it.
• (2.) It is not only justice, but kindness, to such, to be denied them; for, by usurping that to which they have no title, they affront God and make their sin the more heinous, and by building their hopes upon a wrong foundation they render their conversion the more difficult and their ruin the more deplorable.
• 2. The method God took, in giving him this bill of divorce, and expelling and excluding him from this garden of pleasure. He turned him out, and kept him out.
• (1.) He turned him out, from the garden to the common. This is twice mentioned: He sent him forth (v. 23), and then he drove him out, v. 24. God bade him go out, told him that that was no place for him, he should no longer occupy and enjoy that garden; but he liked the place too well to be willing to part with it, and therefore God drove him out, made him go out, whether he would or no. This signified the exclusion of him, and all his guilty race, from that communion with God which was the bliss and glory of paradise. The tokens of God's favour to him and his delight in the sons of men, which he had in his innocent estate, were now suspended; the communications of his grace were withheld, and Adam became weak, and like other men, as Samson when the Spirit of the Lord had departed from him. His acquaintance with God was lessened and lost, and that correspondence which had been settled between man and his Maker was interrupted and broken off. He was driven out, as one unworthy of this honour and incapable of this service. Thus he and all mankind, by the fall, forfeited and lost communion with God. But whither did he send him when he turned him out of Eden? He might justly have chased him out of the world (Job 18:18), but he only chased him out of the garden. He might justly have cast him down to hell, as he did the angels that sinned when he shut them out from the heavenly paradise, 2 Pt. 2:4. But man was only sent to till the ground out of which he was taken. He was sent to a place of toil, not to a place of torment. He was sent to the ground, not to the grave,-to the work-house, not to the dungeon, not to the prison-house,-to hold the plough, not to drag the chain. His tilling the ground would be recompensed by his eating of its fruits; and his converse with the earth whence he was taken was improvable to good purposes, to keep him humble, and to remind him of his latter end. Observe, then, that though our first parents were excluded from the privileges of their state of innocency, yet they were not abandoned to despair, God's thoughts of love designing them for a second state of probation upon new terms.
• (2.) He kept him out, and forbade him all hopes of a re-entry; for he placed at the east of the garden of Eden a detachment of cherubim, God's hosts, armed with a dreadful and irresistible power, represented by flaming swords which turned every way, on that side the garden which lay next to the place whither Adam was sent, to keep the way that led to the tree of life, so that he could neither steal nor force an entry; for who can make a pass against an angel on his guard or gain a pass made good by such force? Now this intimated to Adam,
• [1.] That God was displeased with him. Though he had mercy in store for him, yet at present he was angry with him, was turned to be his enemy and fought against him, for here was a sword drawn (Num. 22:23); and he was to him a consuming fire, for it was a flaming sword.
• [2.] That the angels were at war with him; no peace with the heavenly hosts, while he was in rebellion against their Lord and ours.
• [3.] That the way to the tree of life was shut up, namely, that way which, at first, he was put into, the way of spotless innocency. It is not said that the cherubim were set to keep him and his for ever from the tree of life (thanks be to God, there is a paradise set before us, and a tree of life in the midst of it, which we rejoice in the hopes of); but they were set to keep that way of the tree of life which hitherto they had been in; that is, it was henceforward in vain for him and his to expect righteousness, life, and happiness, by virtue of the first covenant, for it was irreparably broken, and could never be pleaded, nor any benefit taken by it. The command of that covenant being broken, the curse of it is in full force; it leaves no room for repentance, but we are all undone if we be judged by that covenant. God revealed this to Adam, not to drive him to despair, but to oblige and quicken him to look for life and happiness in the promised seed, by whom the flaming sword is removed. God and his angels are reconciled to us, and a new and living way into the holiest is consecrated and laid open for us.

A - The application for me is to recognize that I am not to far from the tree of Adam, in that I  have a tendency to sin, and as a result I lose communication with God The Father.     My hope lies not in me, but in God and His love for me.   Since even Adam,  God had a plan for our redemption and reconciliation.  Thankfully I fall on this side of Jesus in the timeline of history.  Jesus’ sacrifice and intercession on my behalf has allowed me to have a restored relationship with God, and an eternal future with Him in Heaven.   All that I need to do know is enjoy the fellowship with God in this life, and wait expectedly for the next.   While the situation is less than perfect beginning Adam and Eve had in the garden,  it is to the same ends, and I can rejoice in the big picture that I am a child of God,  He loves me,  I have a restored relationship with my Father, and that He has a house in Heaven, with many rooms, and one is awaiting my transition.   In the meantime here and now,  His provision, protection, and direction are enough for me to live free from sin and worry, and put my trust in Him and His plan.

P -  Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for today’s lesson, may it be sealed to my heart.  I pray Lord you help me to keep the kingdom perspective in all things.   Help me not to get distracted or tempted by the Devil to sin and drive stakes of separation between you and me.    I pray all this in Jesus Christ name,  Amen.