Plow the hardness of my heart, and plant seeds of righteousness

  S-Hosea 10:12
I said, ‘Plant the good seeds of righteousness,
    and you will harvest a crop of love.
Plow up the hard ground of your hearts,
    for now is the time to seek the Lord,
that he may come
    and shower righteousness upon you.’

O -  Wow, this verse is for me today,  I have come through a long rough season in which the battle was internal and for my soul.    The battle was first physical - at work,  with dissappointing news about jobs and promotions,  then it was followed by   a internal spiritual battle which lasted long after the physical battle was done.   The results of this season is both a resolution of committment to the lord and my calling,  but along the way quite a bit of hardening of my heart has occurred.  Now is the time to plow up the hardness of my heart,  seek the Lord, and plant seeds of righteousness in for growth in this next season.

A - The application for me is to spend this time between CSP and Puget on vacation reflecting and planning for the seeds I will plant.   I need to reflect on what hard spots I have allowed to be planted in my heart: 
1.  The Lord -  The hard spots for me have been the questioning of why God let me go through this much mental pain,  and allowing the hardness of my heart to be believing that if I do nothing , nothing bad happens proving God is not relevant in my life.
2.  My wife - I have allowed her to become hard spots in my  heart with regard to the home and hording.  I have allowed the enemy to drive seperation in our relationship,  the hard spots causing me to see here as a problem and not God's gift to me. 
3.  My children -  I had allowed their shortfall in personality, or growing up to harden a  part of my heart because they were not making it easy for me.  I wanted the kids that just did well at school and were happy at home.   The hardness in my heart was my shying away from the participating in their development in school and extra curricular activities like volleyball, dance and singing.  
4.   My vocation -   the hardness in my heart here got down to believing what I actually do matters.  I began to stop tracking goals,  projects and tasks.

So what is my application -  I need to plow these areas to be sure the ground is not longer hard, and begin replanting seeds of righteousness in these areas.   I then need to seek the lord to know what to plant and allow him to grow it in me.

P -  Dear heavenly father, thank you for sticking with me, and holding me up through this past season,  I truly felt I wouldn't make it, and know I only did because of you.   I thank you for this refreshing and plowing season,  I pray you would help me be fruitful in this season.  I pray all this in Jesus name, amen.