Repenting of my sins, learning to love and lead the way God needs us to

Repenting of my sins, learning to love and lead the way God needs us to
S- Exodus 4 NASB

24Now it came about at the lodging place on the way that the LORD met him and sought to put him to death. 25Then Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son’s foreskin and threw it at Moses’ feet, and she said, “You are indeed a bridegroom of blood to me.” 26So He let him alone. At that time she said, “You are a bridegroom of blood”—because of the circumcision.


O - Commentary by Matthew Henry


I. How God met him in anger, v. 24-26. This is a very difficult passage of story; much has been written, and excellently written, to make it intelligible; we will try to make it improving. Here is, 1. The sin of Moses, which was neglecting to circumcise his son. This was probably the effect of his being unequally yoked with a Midianite, who was too indulgent of her child, while Moses was too indulgent of her. Note, (1.) We have need to watch carefully over our own hearts, lest fondness for any relation prevail above our love to God, and take us off from our duty to him. It is charged upon Eli that he honoured his sons more than God (1 Sa. 2:29); and see Mt. 10:37. (2.) Even good men are apt to cool in their zeal for God and duty when they have long been deprived of the society of the faithful: solitude has its advantages, but they seldom counterbalance the loss of Christian communion. 2. God's displeasure against him. He met him, and, probably by a sword in an angel's hand, sought to kill him. This was a great change; very lately God was conversing with him, and lodging a trust in him, as a friend; and now he is coming forth against him as an enemy. Note, (1.) Omissions are sins, and must come into judgment, and particularly the contempt and neglect of the seals of the covenant; for it is a sign that we undervalue the promises of the covenant, and are displeased with the conditions of it. He that has made a bargain, and is not willing to seal and ratify it, one may justly suspect, neither likes it nor designs to stand to it. (2.) God takes notice of, and is much displeased with, the sins of his own people. If they neglect their duty, let them expect to hear of it by their consciences, and perhaps to feel from it by cross providences: for this cause many are sick and weak, as some think Moses was here. 3. The speedy performance of the duty for the neglect of which God had now a controversy with him. His son must be circumcised; Moses is unable to circumcise him; therefore, in this case of necessity, Zipporah does it, whether with passionate words (expressing her dislike of the ordinance itself, or at least the administration of it to so young a child, and in a journey), as to me it seems, or with proper words-solemnly expressing the espousal of the child to God by the covenant of circumcision (as some read it) or her thankfulness to God for sparing her husband, giving him a new life, and thereby giving her, as it were, a new marriage to him, upon her circumcising her son (as others read it)-I cannot determine: but we learn, (1.) That when God discovers to us what is amiss in our lives we must give all diligence to amend it speedily, and particularly return to the duties we have neglected. (2.) The putting away of our sins is indispensably necessary to the removal of God's judgements. This is the voice of every rod, it calls to us to return to him that smites us. 4. The release of Moses thereupon: So he let him go; the distemper went off, the destroying angel withdrew, and all was well: only Zipporah cannot forget the fright she was in, but will unreasonably call Moses a bloody husband, because he obliged her to circumcise the child; and, upon this occasion (it is probable), he sent them back to his father-in-law, that they might not create him any further uneasiness. Note, (1.) When we return to God in a way of duty he will return to us in a way of mercy; take away the cause, and the effect will cease. (2.) We must resolve to bear it patiently, if our zeal for God and his institutions be misinterpreted and discouraged by some that should understand themselves, and us, and their duty, better, as David's zeal was misinterpreted by Michal; but if this be to be vile, if this be to be bloody, we must be yet more so. (3.) When we have any special service to do for God we should remove as far from us as we can that which is likely to be our hindrance. Let the dead bury their dead, but follow thou me.


A- The application for me is deep and cutting. At times as a leader I have empathized with Moses for the leadership burden he bore. Now I am convicted by his own disobedience and weakness. I must address what this means to me as a leader or I will find myself in a similar position of Moses, facing an Angel of God's sword or the disfavor of the One who I have committed my life to serving. God's grace is sufficient to forgive me the area's of my disobedience that I am willing to confess and repent for. For me I confess today the following and sincerely pray that God will forgive, heal and restore me in these areas:


1.  Husband:  I confess I have not loved my wife like Christ loves the Church.   I know He has shown me this truth and called me to love my wife as well as Jesus does.   I may know the why's behind where I get my attitude problems when speaking with my wife, whether it be anger or biting sarcasm,  I must begin seeing her how God does, and speaking words (including body language) that makes here feel safe and loved, unconditionally.  She truly is God's gift to me long before I even had a relationship with Him.

2.  Leader:  I confess I am not ready to lead God's people anywhere, because I have not stewarded what little he has given me well.   Like with Abby, my biting sarcasm, or direct harsh words have sent a signal to those I lead that I care more about what they can produce, than I care about them.  I must stop using the excuse that my heart is good, when my words and attitude don't match my heart, that it is simply a skill thing that I need to work on.  There are things in my life that have led me to be the way I am, and many of them are not of God.  I need to literally die to these old self reasons that I allow myself to excuse my bad behavior.  Through repentance and healing, I hope one day to be worthy of leading God's people in ernest.

P -  Lord I come desperately seeking your forgiveness for my sin of pride that has allowed me to excuse my bad behavior, and ask that you once and for all,  heal me of the past hurts I continue to carry with me.  I pray Lord that you help the old me disappear, and the new creation to be fully revealed to my wife and those you have placed in my life to lead and love.  I pray all this in Jesus name, Amen.